Understand what mediation is (and isn't)
Family mediation is a structured conversation led by an impartial mediator. The mediator won't take sides, judge who is right or make decisions for you. Their job is to make sure each person is heard, keep the conversation on track and help you explore options. Any agreement is made by you, not imposed on you.
Mediation also isn't a substitute for legal advice. Knowing your legal position before you start can help you negotiate with confidence, so many people speak with a family lawyer before or between sessions.
Get clear on what matters most
Before your session, take some quiet time to think about:
- The issues you need to resolve. Write a short list, such as weekday care arrangements, school holidays or the family home.
- Your priorities. Which issues matter most to you, and why? Where might you be flexible?
- The other person's likely concerns. You don't have to agree with them, but anticipating them can help you find common ground.
- Possible options. Think of more than one way each issue could be solved.
If children are involved, try to look at each issue from their point of view. Think about their age, routines, schooling, friendships and the relationships that are important to them.
Gather the information you'll need
For parenting matters, it can help to have school calendars, activity schedules and work rosters handy. For property and financial matters, mediation depends on full disclosure. Common documents include:
- recent tax returns and payslips
- bank, credit card and loan statements
- superannuation statements
- property valuations or recent sales data
- details of any business interests
Your mediator will let you know what's useful for your situation and when to exchange it.
Prepare your space for an online session
- Choose a private room where you won't be overheard, ideally with the door closed and children cared for elsewhere.
- Test your device, camera, microphone and internet connection beforehand.
- Keep water, tissues, your notes and any documents within reach.
- Turn off notifications so you can focus.
Look after yourself
Mediation can bring up strong emotions. Plan something calming for afterwards, and lean on friends, family or a counsellor for support. During the session, you can ask for a break at any time. Separate virtual rooms can also make things easier.
If you have any concerns about your safety, or feel afraid of the other person, please raise them in your private intake session. Mediation isn't right for every situation, and your safety comes first.
Go in with an open mind
It's rare for anyone to get everything they want in mediation. The aim is an agreement that's workable and that both of you can live with. Even if you don't resolve everything, narrowing the issues is real progress.
This page provides general information only and is not legal advice. Family law can be complex and the right path depends on your circumstances — we encourage you to get independent legal advice before making decisions or signing agreements.